Hey where are you? I am here..just haven't been writing. I try. I want to say so much but sometimes I don't even know where to begin.
Today is the fourth day of Sukkot or the Feast of Tabernacles. I am struggling. My sukkah is up. The sukkah is a temporary dwelling place. Our Father instructed the Hebrews to live in at this time each year to remember the Exodus and when they lived in temporary dwellings during their forty year journey through the wilderness. He was their covering...protecting them, sustaining them, guiding them and this is why we are to do it still today..whether Jewish by birth or grafted in. His Biblical 'holidays' have not changed nor did they end...they are the same today as they were then. Our ELOHIM has not changed..He is the same today, yesterday and forever.
BUT this is where the problem lies. The church does not teach that we are to follow the Way of G-d. It teaches we are to follow the man made doctrines and teachings of the church and it has embedded its way strongly into the world. So, if we grew up going to church or not, we have followed the holidays that have come down through the ages....Halloween, Christmas, Easter and if one followed the Catholic church you were following even more man made days.
So here I am, I got my sukkah up, decorated with lights and garlands and all kinds of wonderful things and no one to enjoy it but me and my granddaughter, Arrin. She loves to be in it with me. We sit in it and we eat in it.
ARRIN IN THE SUKKAH AS WE WERE DECORATING IT
I have tried to blend my family into these biblical holidays but it is a struggle. I tried to have family dinners and have a time of 'teaching' about each one but it has just not clicked with them. But it all goes back to the old saying.."you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink". No, we cannot change people..we cannot make them 'see' truth. When something is as embedded into their psyche as all the man made holidays and the hoopla that goes along with them, then what is one to do? I was ready..I was willing..I desired to be in truth.....but they aren't. They are unwilling to see...or maybe they can't see that all that they have believed in all of their lives is lies from Satan. I know it is a difficult thing but it is not impossible!
My husband is willing to put my sukkah up..he built it for me. He and I went and he bought the items I wanted to decorate with. But he is not willing...not ready to give up the ways of the world and come into the Way of G-d and the blessings that flow from it. He is living in a fantasy..he rides with the devil and thinks that because he went to church as a child and then again as an adult that he is ok.
We observe and celebrate Shabbat each Friday evening...both my daughters and my two granddaughters are at the table as we light the Shabbat candles but it is not enough....not enough.
IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO GO THROUGH THE MOTIONS! It was NEVER enough when in the Christian church and it definitely is not enough now! We MUST be willing to sacrifice ourselves, our time, our energy to Him. It does not mean that we will be called to go to some other country, it does not mean we will be called to start a ministry...but it may mean we will be called to pray, to intercess for others or we may be called to praise and worship Him. BUT we have to start by seeking Him and studying His Word. To come into the understanding of His Way and understanding that it is not the way of the Christian mindset but of the Jewish mindset.
I am discouraged. I thought that things would be different by now. When I began this amazing journey I really thought my family would come into this faith and be as joyous as me. Again, I understand that I cannot make them. I also understand that I allowed forces that were against me to make me stumble and become rebellious. Sometimes we are accustomed to hearing from G-d yet we become so full of ourselves that we then think we hear Him and are doing what is right when we should have waited upon Him and then discerned that we were not hearing from Him at all but from the enemy. WAIT UPON HIM!
I was told to "Go back and spring forward". I keep going back, thinking upon the things that have happened but I have yet to 'spring forward' out of all the things that have happened to change the course of my life. I cannot give up though. I won't give up!
The Messianic Mo'adiym Devotional by Kevin Geoffrey for day four of Sukkot has just amazed me in that it is speaking to ME! Yes ME!
TO STIR YOU UP......."Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and seliction firm, for (by) doing these things, though, (you) already know them and have been established in the present truth. And I think (it is) right, as long as I am in this (earthly) dwelling, to stir you up in reminding you, knowing that soon is the laying aside of my (earthly) dwelling, even as also our Master Yeshua Messiah made plain to me."
KEIFA BEIT (2 PETER) 1:10-14
So, I take a stand! My path is set, He is guiding me, I must keep my ears intune with Him...my eyes ever watchful of any detours or blocks in my road. He is with me and He will show me the way I am to go. I choose to follow Him. I choose to let His light shine within me and then I choose to let it shine for all to see....and if my light shines on others I pray that they see Him and will desire to walk in His light and will choose to follow Him too. I cannot make them but if all they see is the likeness of G-d when they see me then I have followed the path of G-d.